Going Solo: Getting Past the Fear and Enjoying the Experience

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I’m a true introverted extrovert, meaning I enjoy being around people for limited amounts of time, but I’d rather be at home with my husband. Since my husband also works from home we are together literally 24/7 and I wouldn’t have it any other way, because I’m also a true second child and I depend on him for comfort. I also suffer from anxiety and depression so it’s nice to have my emotional support with me anytime I need him. With all that being said my love for travel didn’t really start until I met my husband and we began to travel together. 

First Time Traveling

My family did not do a lot of traveling when I was growing up. My first trip to the beach was when I was in fifth grade, and my second time was on a school trip in eighth grade. My family would go to zoos and aquariums that were within driving distance which is where some of my love for those places comes from. Knowing all of this as I set out for New York City with my husband I was a complete nervous wreck. I had googled “how to stay safe when walking alone in New York” among other things thinking I should have learned taekwondo or karate before going to a place with such danger. Keep in mind this is also my first time traveling by plane so I was not only nervous about where I was going but also how I was getting there. I leaned on my husband’s knowledge and found comfort in him being there with me as I tagged along on his work trip but I knew that once his conference started I would be on my own. 

The Big Apple

We arrive and the traffic alone is very intimidating, I vowed right then to never drive through New York ever! We checked-in to our hotel sitting right in the middle of Times Square and we went out to explore a little and grab a bite to eat. I clinged to my husband’s arm, hand, jacket, whatever I could get ahold of so I wouldn’t lose him in the Saint Patrick’s Day crowds/just New York. We went to Saint Patrick’s Cathedral and enjoyed the beauty of the church. We walked around for a few hours just to see what we could find, this is our strategy everywhere we go. The next day he went to work and I was left to my own devices. As I looked out the window at all the people walking through Times Square I instantly got nervous and didn’t want to leave the room. I quickly realized that I would eventually need to eat something and that meant going out into the jungle of the city to find food.

First Day On My Own

I spent the rest of my first full day alone in New York in the room trying to work up the courage to do something, go out and experience something that this amazing city has to offer. I gave myself a pep talk and reminded myself that there are tons of women who live alone in this city and if they can live here I can be a tourist here for one week. I made a plan of where I was going to go and what I was going to do the next day.

I stuck to going to places nearby. I remembered everything I read about being safe in the city as I got ready to enter the urban jungle of New York,  I put what I needed in a cross body purse, and I kept my hand on it the whole time. I didn’t go far so I didn’t need to look at my phone for directions much. I walked at a fast pace with confidence, even though I was so nervous I had sweated through my shirt before I ever crossed the street. I never imagined I would ever be able to do something like walk around New York City let alone do it by myself. I’m a small town, shy girl from Kentucky that would cry as I left home every weekend to go back to college, where I felt so alone even though there were always tons of people around me. I had friends that I would hang out with, but it’s not the same as having an emotional support person. That one person that fully understands you and can comfort you in ways no one else can. 

Finding My Courage

The next day came and I said goodbye to my husband and I set out on my own to see what I could find. Until this trip I had never eaten in a restaurant alone, I know that sounds preposterous and silly but it’s true. I quickly found that I could people watch, my favorite pastime. 

I got in line to get a ticket for the Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon every morning for the first three mornings and I eventually got in! My entire day revolved around getting into that show and I loved it! I discovered that you have to get to the line very early, like three hours beforehand, even then I was twentieth in line. I have always been fascinated with the behind the scenes of television and movie production so this was an exhilarating experience. Not only was I just happy to have the opportunity to see the tonight show being recorded but I also saw John Boyega and Bob Saget on the show. The true highlight was high fiving Jimmy Fallon as he walked by at the end of the show.

Expert Level

I found it easy to navigate the city since all you have to know is north, south, and how to count. I would choose a destination, look up how to get there, and memorize the directions, two blocks down four blocks over between sixth and seventh. This way I never had to look at my phone for directions making me look like a tourist who’s lost. My purse did end up breaking and falling off my shoulder on the sidewalk luckily nothing fell out and there wasn’t a sole around, so I carried it like a baby the rest of the walk back to my hotel where I put my credit card and phone in my pocket and set out again. I liked that I didn’t need anything more than that. I kept my hands in my pockets with a tight grip on my two items as I walked around aimlessly at times to explore the city. 

I even ventured into central park one day, visited the zoo, the Balto statue, Alice in wonderland, and many more of the park’s wonderful gems that you find just by walking around. I did get a little lost at one point which is partially my fault and partially because there is not sufficient signage throughout the park to let you know where you are. Your phone doesn’t help that much either since the park paths are not actual roads listed on the map so I just kept walking and eventually found my way back to where I knew where I was. I even stumbled upon a music video being made in Central Park. I’m still not sure who the artist was but it was neat that you could just be walking around and a production is taking place in the park.

 I wouldn’t be a true tourist if I didn’t go into a few stores that I definitely couldn’t afford and had no business being in but I wanted to experience it and it was right there. I walked into Gucci and went straight to the women’s sections and imagined myself wearing one of these lavish gowns and amazingly painful heels to the Met Gala. I didn’t dare touch anything or pick anything up with my dirty street hands though. I would never disrespect fabric like that. I also took a stroll through Macy’s. As I walked down the street in front of the store I imagined being there for the Parade on Thanksgiving and all the hullabaloo I’ve only ever seen on t.v.

I made note of places to eat for later times and I marveled at just how tall the buildings were, and how many people were in such a small area. I never felt that I was in danger my entire time in New York, but I was also being cautious, I didn’t let my guard down but I didn’t let the fear of what could happen hold me back from enjoying the experience of being there in the moment.

Lesson Learned

My first day out was an eye-opening experience for me and to some it may seem silly to be afraid to eat alone, walk around a city, or sight see but to me it was a major life altering experience. This moment changed my life and I’m so happy that I took the risk and did it despite my fears. After that first day I was ready to go anywhere and do anything and so my love for travel started to unfold and here I am telling you all about my adventures, what could be better? My advice to you is take the trip, no matter what, if you want to go, go. 

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